Supporting Your Child Through Back-to-School Worries

The “Back-to-School” signs are everywhere! Commercials on TV, colorful and vibrant store displays of notebooks and backpacks, and aisles stocked with the newest back to school essentials are a constant reminder of the new school year. For many kids, this time of year is exciting because of seeing friends again, meeting new teachers, and starting new learning adventures. But for others, the back-to-school season brings worry, stress, and sometimes full-blown anxiety. 

If your child expresses fears with starting the new school year, you are far from alone. Many parents find that as summer winds down, their child’s mood changes: frequent meltdowns, increased clinginess, and bedtime battles. 

Some studies show that 20-30% of children and adolescents experience notable anxiety during the first couple months of the school year.

But, as the parent – you don’t have to freak out, too! With the right support, children can learn to manage their fears and develop confidence about the school year ahead. 

Causes of Back-to-School Anxiety

Recognizing and understanding why your child is worried about school is the first step towards helping them. Common reasons kids experience anxiety about going back to school include:

1. Separation Anxiety 

Separation anxiety is a common trigger for younger children who worry about being away from a parent or caregiver. After months of togetherness and family vacations, being apart for a full day can feel overwhelming. While mild separation anxiety is normal, persistent clinginess, crying, or worrying during drop-off may need extra support. 

2. Peer Relationships and Pressure

Children and adolescents want to belong, and worries about making friends and fitting in are common. In older kids and teens, comparison making is a common source of anxiety and low self-esteem.

3. Bullying

Children and adolescents who have experienced bullying in previous years may feel anxious about returning to the same or similar environment. 

4. Academic Performance 

For some students, the pressure to perform well academically can be overwhelming. Whether it's keeping up with schoolwork or aiming for perfect grades, these expectations can be a heavy burden - especially for children and adolescents who struggle with perfectionism. 

5. Routine Changes

Shifting back into a routine after the summer months can feel abrupt. Establishing a new bedtime and morning routine, engaging in homework and studying, and participating in extracurricular activities can all fuel worries and anxieties. 

6. New Environment 

Transitioning into a new school or into a grade level inevitably leads to uncertainty and uncertainty fuels anxiety. 

Signs and Symptoms of Back-to-School Anxiety

Symptoms of anxiety will look and feel different for every child; however, there are some common warning signs that parents and educators can look out for:

Emotional Symptoms

• Uncontrollable worries or fears about school
• Irritability, tension and frequent crying spells  
• Low mood or feelings of helplessness

Physical Symptoms

• Headaches and stomachaches that have no medical cause
• Poor sleep
• Appetite changes
• Fatigue or low energy 

Behavioral Symptoms

• Refusing to attend school
• Arriving late, leaving early, and/or multiple absences from school
• Avoiding school-related topics or activities 

Strategies for Parents to Help Kids Manage Back-to-School Anxiety 

As parents, it's natural to want to “fix” your child’s anxiety - but the goal isn’t to remove anxiety entirely. Rather, we want to help kids feel safe, understood, and capable of handling challenges. 

1. Validate Their Feelings

Let your child know it’s okay to feel nervous. By validating their emotions (“I understand you’re feeling worried about tomorrow”), you help them feel seen and supported.

2. Establish a Routine

A few days before the start of the school year, begin shifting bedtime and morning routines to match your child’s school schedule. Predictability helps make your child feel more secure. 

3. Prepare Ahead of Time

Visit the school, meet teachers, and talk through what the first day of school will look like. The more familiar the experience, the less room there is for fear of the unknown.

4. Practice Relaxation Techniques

Relaxation skills help to lower heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension (common fight-or-flight symptoms). Relaxation skills such as belly breathing, mindfulness, or progressive muscle relaxation, can lower baseline anxiety levels and make it easier to handle stressful situations. 

5. Set Small, Achievable Goals

The start of the school year can be overwhelming. Instead of focusing on the whole school year, set small daily or weekly goals. Achieving these builds confidence.

6. Encourage Positive Self-Talk

Help your child identify and challenge negative thoughts. Practice and write down affirmations such as “I can do this” or “I have handled challenges before.”

When to Seek Professional Help

It's normal for children to experience “first day jitters” but these worries usually improve with time and support. If your child’s anxiety is ongoing or severe, it is important to seek out help from a trained professional. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if your child:

• Extreme fear related to school
• Refusing to attend school and/or asking to be picked up early
• Self-harm or suicidal thoughts
• Persistent physical complaints (headaches, stomachaches, fatigue) without a medical cause
• Anxiety in social situations 

Interventions such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) are effective in helping children better manage anxiety symptoms.

Here at Houston Anxiety and Wellness Center we offer individualized therapy using evidence based strategies, like CBT, to help children and teens of all ages grow in their confidence and learn new coping skills for those inevitable anxious moments. If you are interested in starting therapy with one of our anxiety specialists in person at our Montrose office or virtually from Houston or beyond, you can easily book your first appointment here or get matched with the right therapist.

Final Thoughts 

Back to school anxiety is a normal but sometimes challenging part of the school year transition for many children and families. By understanding the causes and signs of anxiety, validating children’s feelings, and using practical coping strategies, parents and educators can help kids build resilience and confidence. Early intervention and support pave the way for a positive school experience, emotional growth, and academic success.

If your child is struggling with back to school anxiety, remember you’re not alone. Together, we can create nurturing environments where children feel safe, understood, and ready to learn.