Thanksgiving and Politics: How to Protect Your Peace This Holiday Season

If the thought of sitting at a Thanksgiving table where political conversations could potentially come up makes your upper lip twitch, you are not alone. Politics has become a deeply emotional and personal topic. In fact, the idea of celebrating Thanksgiving at all can feel complicated and controversial considering the history that underlies it. For some, the day that is meant to bring gratitude and connection, instead brings anxiety about what might be said, who might clash, or whether they’ll feel misunderstood. It’s a strange tension, wanting to celebrate togetherness while quietly bracing for conflict, and yet, it’s one that so many of us are navigating right now.

Growing up with one Republican-minded parent and one Democrat-leaning parent was a valuable learning experience. I was exposed to both perspectives through the voices of people I loved and respected. This taught me how to think critically and form my own views. In recent years, however, differing political views among friends and family have become deal-breakers. Now, political disagreement automatically communicates hate, moral failure and personal attacks that terminate relationships.

As a therapist, I’ve helped clients find ways to manage these experiences, protect their peace, communicate their needs and stay grounded even when the conversation around them feels anything but peaceful. Here’s how you can do the same this Thanksgiving.

Recognize That Anxiety About the Holidays Is Normal

Before anything else, know that it’s okay to feel anxious about Thanksgiving. 

Holidays can bring out old family dynamics that make us feel like we’re back in childhood, powerless, unseen and misunderstood. Add in the intensity of today’s political climate, and it’s no surprise your nervous system feels on edge. Remind yourself that your feelings make sense. They’re not a sign that you’re “bad at holidays” or “too sensitive.” They’re a normal human response to stress and uncertainty. When you validate your feelings, rather than fight them, you give yourself a foundation of compassion to build from.

Prepare Emotionally, Not Just Logistically

Before Thanksgiving, consider how you can care for your mental health in the same way you’d prepare a meal or travel plans.

Here are a few grounding questions you might ask yourself:

• What do I need to feel safe and calm this holiday?
• Who do I want to connect with and who tends to drain me?
• What boundaries might I need to set ahead of time?
• What can I do to soothe myself if I start to feel overwhelmed?

You might also decide to plan an “emotional menu,” a few coping tools you can rely on if things get tense. This might include:

• Taking a walk outside for fresh air
• Stepping away to text a supportive friend
• Doing a short breathing exercise in another room
• Focusing on the sensory details of the moment: the smell of pie, the sound of laughter, the warmth of the room

Having these strategies in mind gives you options, so you’re not stuck feeling trapped or powerless if stress arises.

Set Clear Boundaries

Boundaries are doors that help you stay in control of your space and energy. Around the holidays, boundaries mean deciding what topics, behaviors or expectations you’re not willing to engage with.

If political conversations have historically turned heated, you might choose to set a boundary ahead of time. For example:

• With yourself: “If politics come up, I’ll take a break instead of trying to convince anyone.”
• With others: “I’d really love to keep the conversation light today. Can we save politics for another time?”

It can also help to enlist an ally, a sibling, partner, or friend who can help redirect the conversation if things start to escalate. Sometimes just knowing someone has your back makes it easier to relax.

If you feel guilty about setting boundaries, remember Boundaries protect relationships. They allow you to show up in ways that are sustainable and kind to yourself and to others.

Don’t Take the Bait

You may have that one loved-one who loves to provoke. Maybe they bring up politics, challenge your views, or make comments designed to spark an argument. It can be incredibly tempting to engage, especially when you feel misrepresented or attacked.

But here’s the truth: You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.

Political or moral debates rarely change anyone’s mind. They actually leave everyone feeling angry and disconnected. Remind yourself that your worth or intelligence is not measured by how effectively you defend your viewpoint. You are not responsible for educating or converting anyone, especially in an environment that’s emotionally charged.

Instead, you can calmly say something like:

• “I don’t think we’ll agree on this, so I’d rather talk about something else.”
• “I’m here to enjoy time with family, not debate today.”
• “Let’s hit pause on that. I really want to focus on catching up.”

Then, shift your attention. Talk to someone else, help in the kitchen, play with the kids, or take a moment to breathe. You’re not avoiding conflict. You’re choosing peace.

Focus on Shared Values and Simple Gratitude

One way to defuse tension and redirect your mind is to focus on what does unite your family — shared memories, values or small moments of gratitude.

You might not see eye to eye on politics, but maybe you share a love of family traditions, cooking or humor. Finding common ground can remind you that connection doesn’t have to mean agreement.

If gratitude feels forced, try focusing on something specific and small. For example:

• “I’m grateful for the effort it took to prepare this meal.”
• “I appreciate having time off work.”
• “I’m thankful for the person next to me.”

Gratitude doesn’t erase conflict, but it does shift your nervous system out of defense mode and into a calmer, more grounded state. It’s a quiet act of reclaiming your peace.

Know Your Exit Strategy and Give Yourself Permission to Use It

It’s okay to step away from a situation that feels harmful or overwhelming. You don’t owe anyone your presence at the cost of your peace.

If you know a certain family dynamic tends to spiral, plan an exit strategy. This may look like:

• Driving separately so you can leave when you need to
• Having a signal with your partner when it’s time to go
• Giving yourself permission to decline an invitation entirely this year

Remember, setting limits doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you self-aware. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself and your family is to remove yourself before emotions boil over.

Practice Post-Holiday Self-Care

Even if the day goes well, holidays can leave you feeling emotionally drained. Build in time afterward to decompress and recharge.

Some ideas for post-Thanksgiving self-care:

• A quiet walk or nature break
• Journaling about what went well and what you want to do differently next time
• Scheduling a therapy session to process emotions
• Watching a comfort show or spending time with supportive friends

Think of it as a recovery day for your nervous system. You’ve used a lot of emotional energy, and it deserves replenishment.

If Things Get Messy, Show Yourself Grace

Despite your best preparation, there may still be moments when something slips out, tempers flare or you leave feeling hurt or frustrated. That doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re human.

Afterward, resist the urge to replay the entire day in your mind or criticize yourself for what you “should have” said or done. 

Remember What Thanksgiving Is and Isn’t About

Many people approach Thanksgiving as a time to connect with family, express gratitude, enjoy good food and pause from everyday life. In my home, we enjoy the warmth of tradition while also holding space for continued learning and respect for Indigenous communities. However it is experienced, Thanksgiving is about togetherness and being thankful, not about division or winning arguments. 

Protect your peace by focusing on what is truly important to you. Let go of the need to correct, convince or control others. Instead, ground yourself in calm, remembering that peace at your own table begins with the energy you choose to bring to it. 

Remember: your peace is worth protecting — even on Thanksgiving.

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‍If you are struggling with anxiety about spending holiday time with family and friends with opposing political views and need support, you can schedule an initial appointment or free consultation call with any of the therapists at Houston Anxiety and Wellness Center. You don’t have to navigate this alone. We’re here to help.