As a licensed professional counselor associate who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and as a mom of three kids with three very different learning styles, I know firsthand how stressful standardized testing season can be for families. In my therapy office, and around my own kitchen table, I see how test anxiety can turn capable, bright kids into worried, self-doubting versions of themselves. Whether it’s STAAR anxiety, ERB anxiety, ISEE anxiety, SAT anxiety, or ACT anxiety, the emotional load can feel overwhelming for children and parents alike.
I also know, however, that anxiety is highly treatable, and kids can learn skills to manage it effectively.
Why Standardized Tests Trigger So Much Anxiety
From a CBT perspective, anxiety during testing season isn’t really about the test. It’s about the thoughts kids have about the test. I often hear thoughts like:
- “If I fail, I’m stupid.”
- “This score will ruin my future.”
- “Everyone else is better at this than me.”
As a mom, I’ve heard these worries from children who learn differently. One of my children , but excels verbally struggles with timed math, another needs movement to focus, and another is a strong test-taker - but puts intense pressure on herself to be perfect. Different kids, same anxious cycle.
CBT teaches us that when anxious thoughts go unchecked, they trigger physical symptoms (stomachaches, headaches, racing heart) and avoidance behaviors (procrastination, meltdowns, shutdowns). The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety completely; it’s to help kids respond to it with confidence.
Practical Coping Skills for Anxiety During Testing Season
Here are several coping skills for anxiety I teach both in my practice and at home:
1. Normalize Anxiety
Let kids know that anxiety before a test is common and not dangerous. I often tell children and teens, “Anxiety is your brain trying to help, even when it gets a little too loud.” Reducing shame lowers anxiety quickly.
2. Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts
CBT helps kids learn to spot “thought traps” like catastrophizing or all-or-nothing thinking. Encourage your child to ask:
- “Is this thought 100% true?”
- “What’s a more helpful thought I could use instead?”
Replacing “I’m going to fail” with “I’ve prepared, and I can handle this” can shift their emotional state significantly.
3. Practice Calm-Body Skills
An anxious brain can’t think clearly if the body is dysregulated. Teach simple tools like:
- Slow belly breathing
- Grounding using the five senses
- Muscle relaxation before and during tests
These skills are especially helpful for kids experiencing intense STAAR anxiety or time-pressured exams like the ISEE, SAT, or ACT.
4. Focus on Effort, Not Outcome
One of the most powerful things parents can do is emphasize effort over scores. As both a therapist and a mom, I’ve learned that kids thrive when they know they are valued for who they are, not for how they perform.
5. Create Predictability
Consistent routines around sleep, nutrition, and study time reduce uncertainty, which is a major driver of anxiety. Predictability helps kids feel safe during high-pressure seasons.
How Parenting Sessions Can Reduce Anxiety for the Whole Family
One often overlooked—but incredibly powerful—piece of anxiety treatment is parenting support. In my work as a Houston child therapist, I regularly meet with parents separately or alongside their child because children’s nervous systems are deeply connected to the adults around them.
Kids feed off our energy. When parents feel anxious, rushed, or overwhelmed during testing season, children often absorb that stress. Parenting sessions give parents a space to process their own worries, learn CBT-based tools, and feel more grounded and confident.
When parents learn how to:
- Manage their own anxious thoughts
- Respond calmly instead of reactively
- Model coping strategies in real time
…it creates a powerful ripple effect. Children learn not just by what we say, but by what we do. When a child sees a parent take a deep breath, challenge a catastrophic thought, or speak kindly to themselves after a mistake, they internalize those skills.
As a mom, I’ve learned that working on my own anxiety has been one of the most effective ways to help my children manage theirs.
When Extra Support Makes a Difference
Sometimes anxiety goes beyond “normal nerves” and begins to interfere with daily functioning—sleep, mood, school attendance, or self-esteem. That’s when working with a trained Houston child therapist or Houston child psychologist can be incredibly helpful.
At Houston Anxiety and Wellness Center, our therapists use evidence-based approaches like CBT to help children and teens build resilience, confidence, and lifelong emotional skills. We also partner closely with parents, because supporting an anxious child is a family journey.
A Message for Parents Like Me
If you’re struggling with how to support your child during testing season, you are not failing and your child is not broken. Anxiety is a skill-based problem, and skills can be learned.
If you or your family need help with test anxiety, school stress, or big emotions, the therapists at Houston Anxiety and Wellness Center are here to help. You can schedule an intake appointment online or by calling us at 832.205.8120. Our helpful client care specialists will help match you with the right-fit therapist for you and your child.
You don’t have to navigate this season alone… and neither does your child. 💙
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As a licensed professional counselor associate who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and as a mom of three kids with three very different learning styles, I know firsthand how stressful standardized testing season can be for families. In my therapy office, and around my own kitchen table, I see how test anxiety can turn capable, bright kids into worried, self-doubting versions of themselves. Whether it’s STAAR anxiety, ERB anxiety, ISEE anxiety, SAT anxiety, or ACT anxiety, the emotional load can feel overwhelming for children and parents alike.
I also know, however, that anxiety is highly treatable, and kids can learn skills to manage it effectively.
Why Standardized Tests Trigger So Much Anxiety
From a CBT perspective, anxiety during testing season isn’t really about the test. It’s about the thoughts kids have about the test. I often hear thoughts like:
- “If I fail, I’m stupid.”
- “This score will ruin my future.”
- “Everyone else is better at this than me.”
As a mom, I’ve heard these worries from children who learn differently. One of my children , but excels verbally struggles with timed math, another needs movement to focus, and another is a strong test-taker - but puts intense pressure on herself to be perfect. Different kids, same anxious cycle.
CBT teaches us that when anxious thoughts go unchecked, they trigger physical symptoms (stomachaches, headaches, racing heart) and avoidance behaviors (procrastination, meltdowns, shutdowns). The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety completely; it’s to help kids respond to it with confidence.
Practical Coping Skills for Anxiety During Testing Season
Here are several coping skills for anxiety I teach both in my practice and at home:
1. Normalize Anxiety
Let kids know that anxiety before a test is common and not dangerous. I often tell children and teens, “Anxiety is your brain trying to help, even when it gets a little too loud.” Reducing shame lowers anxiety quickly.
2. Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts
CBT helps kids learn to spot “thought traps” like catastrophizing or all-or-nothing thinking. Encourage your child to ask:
- “Is this thought 100% true?”
- “What’s a more helpful thought I could use instead?”
Replacing “I’m going to fail” with “I’ve prepared, and I can handle this” can shift their emotional state significantly.
3. Practice Calm-Body Skills
An anxious brain can’t think clearly if the body is dysregulated. Teach simple tools like:
- Slow belly breathing
- Grounding using the five senses
- Muscle relaxation before and during tests
These skills are especially helpful for kids experiencing intense STAAR anxiety or time-pressured exams like the ISEE, SAT, or ACT.
4. Focus on Effort, Not Outcome
One of the most powerful things parents can do is emphasize effort over scores. As both a therapist and a mom, I’ve learned that kids thrive when they know they are valued for who they are, not for how they perform.
5. Create Predictability
Consistent routines around sleep, nutrition, and study time reduce uncertainty, which is a major driver of anxiety. Predictability helps kids feel safe during high-pressure seasons.
How Parenting Sessions Can Reduce Anxiety for the Whole Family
One often overlooked—but incredibly powerful—piece of anxiety treatment is parenting support. In my work as a Houston child therapist, I regularly meet with parents separately or alongside their child because children’s nervous systems are deeply connected to the adults around them.
Kids feed off our energy. When parents feel anxious, rushed, or overwhelmed during testing season, children often absorb that stress. Parenting sessions give parents a space to process their own worries, learn CBT-based tools, and feel more grounded and confident.
When parents learn how to:
- Manage their own anxious thoughts
- Respond calmly instead of reactively
- Model coping strategies in real time
…it creates a powerful ripple effect. Children learn not just by what we say, but by what we do. When a child sees a parent take a deep breath, challenge a catastrophic thought, or speak kindly to themselves after a mistake, they internalize those skills.
As a mom, I’ve learned that working on my own anxiety has been one of the most effective ways to help my children manage theirs.
When Extra Support Makes a Difference
Sometimes anxiety goes beyond “normal nerves” and begins to interfere with daily functioning—sleep, mood, school attendance, or self-esteem. That’s when working with a trained Houston child therapist or Houston child psychologist can be incredibly helpful.
At Houston Anxiety and Wellness Center, our therapists use evidence-based approaches like CBT to help children and teens build resilience, confidence, and lifelong emotional skills. We also partner closely with parents, because supporting an anxious child is a family journey.
A Message for Parents Like Me
If you’re struggling with how to support your child during testing season, you are not failing and your child is not broken. Anxiety is a skill-based problem, and skills can be learned.
If you or your family need help with test anxiety, school stress, or big emotions, the therapists at Houston Anxiety and Wellness Center are here to help. You can schedule an intake appointment online or by calling us at 832.205.8120. Our helpful client care specialists will help match you with the right-fit therapist for you and your child.
You don’t have to navigate this season alone… and neither does your child. 💙
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