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What if I told you the secret to helping your anxious child is to change your behavior rather than theirs. It sounds crazy! But, according to Dr. Eli Lebowitz and his colleagues from Yale University, parents don’t need to fix their child’s anxiety, they just need to change how they respond to it.
🚀 What is SPACE?
Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) is a parent-focused intervention for children with anxiety disorders, OCD, and related issues. SPACE is an evidence-based treatment that equips parents with strategies to empower their children to manage their anxiety.
Increase Supportive Responses:
Supportive statements involve the acknowledgement and validation of the child’s feelings while also communicating confidence in the child’s ability to cope with the distress.
❌ Old Response: “Fine, you don’t have to go to school today. I don’t want you to be upset.”
✅ Supportive Response: “I know going to school feels scary and that’s totally okay. I believe in you, and I am confident you can do this.
Reduce accommodations:
Parents gradually decrease behaviors that unintentionally make anxiety worse, such as providing excessive reassurance, allowing the child the avoid situations that trigger anxiety and/or participating in safety behaviors.
❌ Old Accommodation: Answering the same question over and over again:
“Are you sure it’s safe?”
✅ Reduced Accommodation: Limited number of responses:
“I will only answer your question 3 times but after that I will not answer your question anymore. I know you will feel anxious still but you can do this.”
That’s it. You are not ignoring your child’s anxiety. You are sending a calm and confident message that anxiety is not dangerous and they can handle it!
🧠 Why SPACE works?
Imagine your child’s brain is a smoke alarm and its primary job is to keep you safe. Every time it senses danger, it sends you a warning, and you are able to escape! But what happens if the smoke alarm is faulty – it goes off when you burn toast, light a candle, cook dinner. This is anxiety. Your child’s brain is constantly screaming, “DANGER!!!” even when no danger is present.
Since it feels real (and awful) children manage their anxiety through safety behaviors, avoidance, and reliance on parental accommodations. These behaviors are effective in the short-term, however, it reinforces anxiety in the long run. By helping parents change their responses, anxious children become more confident and independent.
Parent Focused Treatment
When children feel anxious, they rely on their parents to help them manage discomfort. Parents have a powerful influence on their child’s emotional environment. This is why children look immediately at their parents when they fall down; they are gauging your reaction! Therefore, SPACE targets parental behaviors rather than the child’s behaviors
- Parent accommodation fuels anxiety: Parents unintentionally engage in behaviors that reduce their child’s distress in the short term; however, it reinforces the belief “I can’t handle this.” Changing your response allows children to tolerate their own discomfort and develop confidence.
- My child won’t engage in therapy: SPACE does not require the child to ever be present for a session!
Who Can Benefit From SPACE?
SPACE is effective for parents of children aged 6 and older who experience symptoms or diagnosed with:
- Separation Anxiety
- Social Anxiety
- Generalized Anxiety
- Specific Phobias
- Panic Disorder
- Selective Mutism
- AFRID
- Obsessive-compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Final Thoughts
SPACE is an evidence-based, parent-focused treatment that helps parents learn to respond differently to their anxious children which enables children to feel more confident in handling challenging situations. By reducing accommodations and providing supportive language, parents are able to send the message, “You are capable of doing hard things!” SPACE gives families a roadmap to healing and hope!
Resources
- Breaking Free of Child Anxiety and OCD by Eli Lebowitz
- Find a SPACE provider at spacetreatment.net
- Contact the Houston Anxiety and Wellness Center to learn more about our 6-week support group or our individual 12-week SPACE program
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